Journal #4: Weather

It is hard to say which season is the best in a year. Actually, spring always brings beautiful scenes with many different kinds of flowers; summer has its own dynamic with cloudless and bright sky and sunny days; autumn is romantic with a huge mat of yellow leaves and ranges of denuded trees; and winter covers almost every day with an ominous steel-grey sky and continuous rain. The year will be much more colorful if it has all those kinds of weather. Personally, I really like a rainy Sunday to stay in the room listening to music and looking at million drops of rain through the window. Every time I try to explain this hobby, I always find out more than one reason.

I sometimes try to look at this hobby from the Chinese philosophy of yin and yang and I recognize it matches with the rule of the concept. The relationship of yin and yang in this case is described in terms of gloom and rains on Sunday, the day of the Sun. Yin (rain) is the grey and blue feeling in a rainy day while yang (Sunday) implies the day of the bright Sun. Therefore, I sometimes cogitate on it and I am self-satisfied with my incidental hobby but balancing with principle of nature.

I like rainy weather also because I can enjoy my time. I can stay in bed late in a warm blanket on a rainy Sunday morning. I enjoy my breakfast with some soft music or any kinds of that. I do not need to leave house in a rush for the school as usual. Time seems slow down or meaningless to me at that time. Inside the room, I can see what is happening outside. The rain is beating against the window and there is sometimes a wet bird hurriedly flying to his nest.

After the rain, it is bright again. This opinion gives me another cause to like this type of weather, not only as literal meaning but also as figurative sense. I really like the atmosphere after the incessant rain. Everything seems clearer and fresher. It washes thick layers of dust on leaves. Drops of rains look like drops of dews trembling on plants and grass. When I was a little girl at junior high school, I usually look at the lake behind my classroom through the window to enjoy fresh air of nature. I also like walking in the rain when I feel blue because I hope rain helps me to release my sorrow.

Rainy Sunday is still my favorite kind of weather.

Journal #3: Fears

Everyone has a weak part of his own characteristic that is often called the Achilles' heel. Personally, I am afraid of speed, especially a high speed at a high height. I sometimes ask myself what causes of my phobias are, although I do not always figure out my fear.

Fear of danger is usually the first feeling that come to my mind when I am at a high speed. I have got a motorbike in my home country. However, I have never driven it faster than the average speed of forty kilometre per hour. I am afraid that I can not control the speed, thus I may cause accident by myself.

Secondly, I fear something bad to happen when I see someone else is at breakneck speed. When I am traveling on the street, I am so frightened with the sound of crazy cars in the top speed that I can not control my driving. Sometimes I have to stop and get deep breaths before I continue my way.

Thirdly, I am scared stiff at the thought that I would fall down at that speed from that height to the ground when I think about sitting on a roller coaster or standing on a bridge across a highway and looking at the jungle of moving cars below. The feeling of unsafety is always in my mind when I am in that case.

I have not found out the way to overcome my phobia until now, except avoiding facing fears. To face my fear, I have to close my eyes and shout or quit that status immediately. Therefore, these causes help me to understand more my own feeling and I hope that I gradually overcome it when I know where it comes from.